Why You Should Refuse to Believe In Something Better Than You

I'm a firm believer that when it comes to a higher power, well a higher power just simply does not exsist. I think that instead the thing a person should believe in should be something more tangible, something more personal. I think that if you should believe in anything it should be yourself.

Don't get me wrong; if times are tough I pray. I pray to fucking god. I lay out all my shit infront of me and I pray. I think someone hears me, but even deeper down I know that I'm putting things into perspective for myself.

Just a short thought, I hope to elaborate more later.

Lamentations of the Highest Degree

It seems everytime I get close to someone I find a good way to and fuck it up. I'm starting to believe that this is part of being human; when things get going good we have to find a way to fail. Maybe this is more my own condition though.

Analytical time.

There's this girl, who I've known now for almost half a year, I'm borderline in love with her but everytime the going gets good I find a way to screw it up. What do I have to do to keep things going smoothly? Well let's see... Firstly, I have to become more aware of my self-destructive tendencies and do something to curb them. I'm beginning to wonder if gluttony is my crime. Maybe I want too much all at the same time. I am willing to do drastic things to stop this.

I find that while writing my thoughts are very spastic, and what I think is what I write. Though I'm ok with this because it's part of my belief that you should say what you think, as opposed to think before you speak. Wow, random.

Anyways, when it comes to jobs I had it pretty good going and I've been lucky, but with many other endeavours I take on, when things get going good I find a way to screw them up. Maybe I ought to stop being so hard on myself. Maybe I should stop expecting so much. But if I don't expect the best of myself then how can I assume that others will see the best I have to offer?

More than anything though I just want things to work out with this lady. She is everything I have ever wanted and probably things I don't even know I want yet. She is not something I want to second guess. My previous partner shared with me so many things that have made me compatible with my new match and I am greatful for that, she used to tell me "I've got reservations about so many things, but not about you" and this is how I feel about this new girl. There are so many things in my life I would rather avoid than deal with; with the exception of her. I just want to get to a point where we can have something more than what we have now. It might be unfair, but I feel like I place my future success on the well-being of this relationship.

I need guidance from someone who has known me unlike anyone else has but I am too bloody reluctant to ask. I find myself praying (for the first time in ages) to give me good fortune in my future, and I figure more than anything, that saying a prayer is a good way to become more self-aware of the situation. I'm not sure what I believe in, but at the very least I want to be able to believe in myself.

/end lament


Regards,

The Rebel

An Open Letter to Less Respectable People

            After a few run-ins with what I would like to refer to as “undesirable employers” I would like to address the issue. 

            

            Firstly, if you can’t go through the entire hiring process in person, don’t bother. You are wasting your time and the time of a hopeful candidate. If you don’t have the balls to deal with someone then stop working with people. If you are the type of person who would rather speak about someone behind their back rather than face an issue head-on; start holding your breath, right now, for as long as you can. If you start feeling light headed or you feel the sudden urge to take a breath; don’t. Instead, if you have these urges grab a plastic bag and place it securely on your head.

            

           Firing someone should not be easy. Even the best hatchet men have souls; and that’s because they do it the right way, with respect. If your method of letting someone go is taking them off a schedule and avoiding them like the plague, find a really tall building and jump off of it. People will like you more this way. That’s what it’s about isn’t it? What people think of you? You don’t want to be the person that fired someone; you don’t even want to think of it as firing. More like, indefinite leave without pay, which of course wasn’t mutual.

            

           If this sounds like something you’ve done here’s a true fact for you Mr. or Mrs. Personable: nobody fucking likes you. They just deal with your shit for one reason or another.

            

          So shape up, or ship out. Rejoin society again you fucking outcast. Or go kill yourself. No one will care either way, at least until you make an attempt at making your situation different.

Regards,

The Rebel

My Lord

"I think, my lord." she said
in a docile tone
It is time for me, to compose
a poem

Her lord looked at his lady with glee
Inside he wished her poem was of he

She sat at her vanity and began to write
of scarlet skies and crimson seas
her mind wandering through
her most cherished memories

It was this night the lady was slain
it was this night, the manor
of her loved lord
would never, ever be the same.

The assasin in their shroud
snuck in through the kitchen
this was the way best
for his passage allowed.

He passed three men
and killed them all
a skilled murderer he was
though he never harmed one.

He entered the chamber of the lord
with his honour fast asleep
this worked out best
so before death, his peace to keep.

He made his way to the lady
he knew not where
but he knew he needed
to find his way there.

He entered the room
and there she was
as he had seen
fast asleep, hunched over her vanity.

He grabbed her up
and hugged her close
un-sheathed his knife
and gave one heave.

The lady awoke with
a deafening scream
she stared her killer
in the eye and muttered,
"It's about time."

The murder placed her
on her fancy silk sheets
closed the beds veil
and started to leave.

A paper on her vanity
caught his eye
he trudged over
and gave it a skim:

Oh my lord
How I love thee
But sometimes
sometimes
I need my peace
I take my thoughts
And with them hope
That my life
Is on short rope
As the scarlet sky ends a day
So easily ends my time
The sea of crimson calls to you
To die in glorious battle
I am a lady and cannot fight
To die with honour
Though i cannot do it myself
I know I am to die
I will join, the scarlet in the sky
And you a man
A man of violence of hate
(One can see through your gifts and love)
Will join the death of the sea
The death of men before you
Waging battles of a simple
Disagreement

Oh My Lord
As I take my last breath
You lose your one lady
And your only love
(Other than the scene of dying men)
But don't be worried
Your time will come
And you will die

Oh My Lord


The assasin now understood
he took off his cloaks dark hood
lifted the lady's pencil and scribbled:

I am dead

A brand new start, to a love filled heart.

So here I be. How the mighty have fallen
out of a tree. The carrots are
lacking luster and the
rain is depressing. I
of course (the man that
I am, or tend to be) have
started an infatuation
--or so it seems-- with
the hearts of women
that one only dares
to dream about, alone at
night. So if it is criminal
to love those who are
at a loss, then please
sack me.